Deep Down…..

depressionIt is hard to believe that my last post was way back in January. This last few months have been some of the worst of my life. My role as a positive mentor has definitely been put on the back burner as I scrabbled around, searching for the positive in my own life.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, of course, we all appreciate that we don’t live in a magical fairyland where everything is always sparkly and good.  Life can, and often does, hit you between the teeth. Sometimes, even the strongest among us can falter and fall.

My entire life has been grounded in hope and optimism, rooted in a positive approach to life. But, somehow, this year, as straw after straw piled onto my back, the foundations collapsed and so did I.

I am not yet out of the woods, but my saving grace is awareness. I know I am in a bad way and I know that, ultimately, I can and will change that. I understand that it won’t last. Everything in life is transient. I believe that a part of my breakdown was caused by my failure to be present and aware of potential pitfalls. I acted on blind faith and hope. Often, that works out okay but, in this instance, it wasn’t enough.

I believe that our purpose in life is to learn from the lessons that it gives us. Right now, I am limping along, fragile and broken but knowing that something great will come from this. It may be days, weeks or months but the reason for my hardship will become apparent and then I can move on.

Maybe you have never experienced depression, stress or a breakdown. But, if you have, these are the things that might help you:-

  1. Be nice to yourself –  It is all too easy to beat ourselves up for being anything other than perfect. Be the best friend that looks out for you, supports you and allows yourself to process whatever it is that you are going through.
  2. Let it be okay –  The tendency is for us to try and get back to wellness too quickly. We don’t allow ourselves the time to grieve for the losses of our inner being. Accept where you are. Relinquish the need to get back to being strong and certain. Acceptance is key to recovery
  3. Have quiet time – Walk the dogs, meditate, listen to music, be out in nature, or whatever allows you to be still
  4. Talk to someone – This isn’t always easy. I started counselling but the lady did not understand the life of an entrepreneur and was pushing me to do things that I did not want, and would not do. The person you talk to must be able to relate  to you on a level where they can appreciate where you are stuck. Lately, I have been telling friends about how I am and it has helped
  5. Write affirmations – Fill your life with as many positive external things as you can. Affirmations written as if they have happened can help your brain to start seeking confirmation of good things. Listen to positive CD’s, read books, fill your mind with anything that is the opposite of how you are feeling.
  6. Take baby steps – I write small goals each day now. When I have achieved them, I tick them off and get a sense of achievement. Don’t expect big things of yourself. Be happy to just manage to ‘do’ anything.
  7. Take time off – this may be different for people but I simply couldn’t work. My head was like mush, my memory appalling and I simply didn’t want to be around people. Taking time off has helped to take the pressure off myself to perform, to pretend I am feeling any way other than how I am feeling.

I have not left you. I will be back. I fully expect to be fitter and stronger. I have managed, somehow, to build a small team for a business launch this week.  I hope that this will be one part in the jigsaw to getting my mojo back.

Take care and look after yourself…..

… Positive Mentoring by Jan ….

Stress and Fatigue

Illu_adrenal_glandI am writing a stress management course right now and I was reminded of a few things as I tapped into my subject.

Stress is a very real problem in today’s world. I think that we can often get so caught up in trying to define our future, that we simply don’t notice our stress responses in this moment.

If unchecked, prolonged stress can lead to something called adrenal fatigue where your cortisol and adrenalin hormones become depleted. This will leave you feeling exhausted. Unfortunately, it can take months to years to recover from adrenal fatigue, so the best thing is to not get to that point EVER.

Cortisol and adrenalin and negative hormones, but we do need them. What we don’t need is to have them surging through our bodies continually.

On our quest for success, we may ignore the signals that our bodies are desperately trying to give us. Whatever we do, we must always aim for BALANCE. If you work hard, make certain that you take time out for play and relaxation. If you find it hard to switch off, as I do, then take up something like Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness practice, Tai Chi, Qi Gong etc, anything that enables you to switch off and helps you connect your mind and your body.

I truly believe that it is easier to become successful when you are balanced. It is easier to focus and the efforts that you do make will be more productive.

Positive Mentoring by Jan …