Realistic Ambition

Sail into your SuccessSome people sail into their first company. They pick the right one and propel themselves into success with hardly a backward glance.

They are the minority……

In Buddhism they say ‘All life is about suffering’. As negative as that sounds, it isn’t. What it means is that to expect our human lives to be without pain is perhaps delusional. Look forward with a positive attitude and a open heart, but don’t fall wailing on the floor when things go wrong.

Network marketing is a tough cookie to break. That’s why so many give up. You need emotional strength. You need a coping strategy for the down times. You need to have the sense to walk away for a minute to recalibrate. Sometimes, you need the strength to walk away for good.

Be prepared for a tough, rollercoaster ride. Be aware that it may not be easy. Keep pushing against that thick wall of resistance. Keep pushing, keep your dream and your faith in your ability to get to the other side.

Eventually, that wall becomes smaller. Brick by brick, your persistence knocks it down. When it is nothing but a pile of rubble, you will be a stronger person. You will have developed the resilience needed to become one of the ‘lucky’ 3% that do make it 

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …


In the last twenty-four hours I have had a huge lesson in leadership. Or at least one aspect of it anyhow. After months of exhausting hard work, days loaded with expectation and hope, I had built my own team for a new business launch. We all had high expectations and were looking forward to seeing the results of our work.

LeadershipI won’t go into the details but overnight our hopes were dashed. What we believed wasn’t so, what we were told was not true. When I first found this out, my heart dropped like a stone, down to my boots. How was I going to tell my team, what was I going to say? I just knew the crushing disappointment that they were going to feel. How? Because I felt it to. I hurt. I hurt for me and I hurt for my team. They trusted me. They put their faith in me and even though it ‘isn’t my fault‘ that didn’t mean I could walk away. You don’t turn away from your family when they are hurting do you?

So, I hit it head on and braced myself for the fall out. I listened and talked and talked some more. Then I went to bed and slept on it.

The next morning, I awoke feeling like someone had given me a protective shield of fortitude and emotional strength. I got up out of bed, grabbed that shield, picked up my sword of integrity and truth and walked down the stairs thinking, ‘Right, this is not going to defeat me. Now let’s battle this out for solutions‘. I felt strong and purposeful. One way or another I was not going to let this beat me. I would stand right by my team and do whatever was necessary to help them to a better future. For some the future is not with this company. But I have other companies that are working well and I will ease some of them into that, helping them as much as I can to pull back the money they had lost and then go on to make a lot more. I will help them to see that this isn’t the end. Indeed, armed with some spectacularly important learning, it is just the beginning.

My learning on this aspect of leadership is this:-

When the s*** hits the fan, a true leader asks him or herself “What can I do to help my team through this!” and then sets out to find positive solutions. A none leader says “I give up” and goes into hiding.

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …

More on Sponsors

Getting a hand up the cliffDo we need a supportive sponsor, or not? I have been involved in a few discussions lately and this is my view.

Human beings, we are a mass of insecurities. Shielded by our persona and powered by our ego, we battle our way through life doing the best that we can. If your ego is strong enough, you can, no doubt, thrust through the niggling doubts and bound your way to success.

But, how about if your ego is fragile? What if your insecurities have grabbed hold of you, dragged you to a cliff edge and has you teetering on the edge, looking down at a 250 feet drop? What happens then? Who talks you down?

In the story, our superhero would swoop down, pick you up, kiss you and carry you to safety. Hoorah!

I repeat ‘Who talks you down?’

We all know that there is a 97% failure rate in network marketing. Let’s, for a minute, consider that a high percentage of people who failed simply jumped, of merely toppled off the edge. How about that? Do you think that could be a possibility?

People fail for a reason. I truly don’t believe that 97% of them are lazy quitters. What if we could work with people’s insecurities, do you think that we could help them to grow, stop them from running? Do you believe that with some support, we could teach them to use their own wings and enable them to help another person?

I do!

I refuse to give up on anyone. Lots of people gave up on me. My own brother once told me that I was a failure! No one came to my rescue when I stood on the ledge shaking with fear, alone, uncertain if I would lie smashed up on the ground if I jumped. But I did jump.

As I leaped and started to fall, I felt my wings sprouting. They were big enough to keep me airborne and they carried me to a better place.

I don’t care that no one helped me. I needed to jump because something deep inside of me told me that I WAS strong enough.

You may not agree with my opinions but I stand true to my commitment to help others off that ledge to stand in their own circle of strength.

PS: I have a pair of blue tights and red pants in medium, if anyone wants to borrow them 🙂

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …

The leap of Faith

Take the leap of faith

Take the leap of faith

Often, in network marketing, we have little to go on but a leap of faith. But what does that really mean? Does it signify a blind jump into the darkness, or bounding joyously into the light? Does it represent a rejection of fear or denote a random act of frivolousness?

This week, as I watched a team member taking a leap of faith, I became aware of the energy that it sets in motion, once a decision has been made and acted upon.

When you make the decision to do something outside the parameters of your comfort zone, it creates a slipstream. When you swathe through the spiky, edgy fear with your swinging sword, you carve out an intent into the fabric of the universe. It hears you. It sits up and takes notice. It has no choice. It has to do your bidding.

When you position your intent on the wings of your leap of faith, you literally sculpture a pathway. It may not lead you directly to success. After all, you may have stop offs, you know, for eating humble pie, picking up crumbs of knowledge and fighting off your raging hunger. That is all part of the journey. But, if you hang on to the coat tails of the leap of faith, gripping with a fierceness that would keep you from falling off a cliff, then the leap of faith will be your best friend. It will be the cramp ons as you maneuver up the cliff face and the arms that cradle you when you occasionally wonder if it is all worth it.

You have set forth in motion a force that cannot be stopped – unless, of course, you choose to stop it and allow fear to  fold its sticky, black wings around you instead.

Trust. Have faith. Take that leap. Get behind it and feel the magnetic force as it pulls you forward. Express gratitude when you see the results, because you will….  and never look back. Fear will always be following you like a skinny, hungry wolf, pleading with you for scraps of your self-esteem and confidence. Ignore it for it plays with you. It is the demons of your mind. It has no place in your future.

Run, jump and leap…. your future success  is waiting

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …

Your Sponsor… the truth

Work TogetherIn my past, one thing that I never considered was how well I was aligned with my sponsor. I would sign up to a business because……. what was it that made me join a business? I don’t know! I can honestly say that no one has EVER inspired me to join them. I looked at a business from the viewpoint of my interest in the products and perhaps company ethos or longevity.

I thought I was becoming more savvy when I joined a well-known business in 2013. My sponsor was earning £8000 a month so I naively thought she would be able to show me how to do the same. She interviewed me quite intensively before I joined. But, what I forgot to do was interview her.

It transpired that she was a bully, with little compassion or empathy. She phoned me almost every day. I dreaded those calls. Even the sound of her voice on the answer machine made me droop with feelings of inadequacy.

When I rescued our third dog she told me I shouldn’t have done it because I should be focused on the business. She bullied me relentlessly to try to get me to attend meetings two hours away from home, at a time when I couldn’t afford fuel for my car.

Why did I put up with this?

Well, at the time, my stress levels were high and my self-esteem low.  I started off feeling like a failure so hadn’t got too far to go before my natural confidence and assertiveness just got squashed. After conversations with her, I would feel like a limp balloon deflating quietly in the corner of the room behind the settee. She bombarded me with stories of all the other distributors that were doing well. The crashing hopelessness almost consumed me. I eventually found my strength but it was unpleasant from start to finish.

It was a valuable lesson. We are all different, but most people do not respond to bullying. It is said that 1 in 4 are lacking in self-esteem and, coupled with the staggering 97% failure rate in MLM, you truly do need someone on your side. Before you choose a sponsor, engage with them, test the waters. How do they treat you? Do they have a warm approach or are they a bit edgy? If you don’t understand something, do they put you down or grow impatient with you? Talk to several people in the same business. Do they stick around when you say you can’t afford to join this month, or want to think about it?  Or do they disappear to look for others that might join NOW?

I believe that a team starts with YOU and ME. That team is like family. It must be nurtured, protected at all times. It has to be honoured and respected from both sides. You have to learn about each other, understand how to get the best from your relationship. If you find someone who will help you to grow as a person, the business, in a way, will take care of itself.  It’s just a matter of applied strategies to make your business grow. Find the person that helps you to discover ‘you’ and I guarantee that you WILL find success in your chosen business.

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …

Friend Requests

facebook imageWhen I get a friend request, I consider several things before I hit confirm:-

1. Have we interacted in a group or on another friends posts …………
If we have been on a thread together before and posted, we will see that maybe we have similar mindsets or opinions. We may have laughed together already.

2. Have we spoken by PM to see if we get along ………
A lot of people don’t do this but it is good practice to ask someone first before you add them. The response you get back could determine if you are going to get along or not.

3. I look at your timeline………..
If your timeline is all photos of cash or links to your business, we won’t get along. I like to connect with people who provide value. That value may be things that help others, photos or quotes that touch me or make me smile or laugh, pictures of you having fun, your family, your animals and your life. I want to see that you are a real person, not just fixated on hitting up for business.

The other thing I look for on timelines is whether you have responded to people who have posted on your wall thanking you for connecting. If you haven’t…… rude…… it’s not going to work for you and me. I am a communicator and like to have mutually rewarding and respectful connections. If I say hi to you and you don’t say hi back, where is that relationship going do you think?

Think of Facebook as a new club where you have come to find like-minded people. You really do not want to be associated with all and sundry. Choose your friends carefully. Look for mentors, people you aspire to and can learn from. Find people already in your business and check that they are providing value on their timeline. Novice Facebook marketers worry about being in competition with people in their business but that is a narrow-minded way of looking at it. This can be a powerful move to find people who are open to working with you on some Facebook strategies to raise your profile. I will be writing more on these sorts of  Facebook strategies at another time.

These are not rules but they are strategies that are working extremely well for me. I value my time and my energy so I choose my friends carefully. Surround yourself with positive, open-minded helpful people and you will be astounded at what a difference that can make to your interactions on Facebook and also with your business.

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …


Take ActionFailure to take action has to be one of the greatest reasons for failure in life, let alone in business.

Years ago, I remember watching my friend’s dad grabbing his hand as he was wheeled to theatre and he said, ‘Son, don’t waste your life. I haven’t done half the things I wanted to do. Please don’t do the same‘ Sadly, he died on the operating table.

I speak to a lot of people daily. What frustrates me is when people say, ‘I don’t know what to do‘, so they do nothing. Or worse, you tell them what to do, and they don’t do it. I see those same people in groups saying, ‘I need help’ and I want to tear my hair out. The apathy and the futility of doing nothing is exhausting.

Yet people say they want to change things. If you have no money, how do you suppose that is going to change unless you take action? If you want your lifestyle to be better, how do you suppose that will happen? A lottery win? Oh dear. Good luck with that.

Information is ‘out there‘, we all have access to it. 95% of my learning has come from following and studying successful people. I watch videos, attend online training courses, read books and listen to audio. I never stop learning and I act on that learning. Even on bad days, I do something to help grow my business. If you are fearful, you can learn to overcome that fear. You can overcome anything, but you have to want it badly enough to push through the comfort zone and take that first action.

I don’t know the reason for this aspect of human nature. Is it laziness? Are people afraid of failure or success? What stops someone from taking action?

If you are in the networking marketing business and you are NOT going to take action, why are you putting yourself through this? It will never work. You either have to decide to take action or walk away. It’s not going to work unless you do something, anything, to get started.

Action = Results. Period.

Forgive me if I sound a little testy today. This subject is my button pusher but I am sure that many of you can relate to my sentiments.


I need somebody! Anybody!

Do you want anybody?If you owned a restaurant and you needed staff, would you let people walk in off the street and start serving in your restaurant?

How long do you think your business would survive? Of course, normally, you would interview staff to assess suitability for the job. Why then do so many sign people into their network marketing business without any form of an interview?

This is something that I have only recently realised. During a pre-launch for a new business, I started to build a team. What followed next was a vertical learning curve. Some disconnected from the process, ignoring all contact. Some stood about feebly saying they didn’t know what to do but ignoring group training and my offers of mentoring.  A few were fantastic, taking responsibility for their learning, connecting to me daily and building our relationship.

After a couple of weeks when I genuinely thought my head might explode, I took a day off to consider a solution.

I came back and asked my team outright if they were with me or if they were not.  Some opted out and that was fine.  No point wasting each others time.

Now, when I am talking to someone interested in my business, I take more time to assess personality, attitude and communication skills. I also want to know what someones dreams are. Do they want a few hundred dollars or have they got the drive for a six figure income? Is it a lifestyle change that they want? What motivates them? What are their fears?

Personally, I also prefer to work with people who have a sense of humour. I see fun and playfulness in most situations but not everyone gets that and I find it almost impossible to work with  people that have no sense of humour at all.

I think that work should be fun. Otherwise it’s just work isn’t it? If you find a cohesive team, it will feel like extended family. It is better to have a couple of committed team members that you can work with , than several dozen that you can’t.

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …



AlignmentOver the years, I have been guilty of flitting from one company to the next, believing  that each one would be ‘it.’ But I never made money and I failed to recruit.

Lately, I have been asking myself why we are always searching for the next shiny thing?

I can of course only speak for myself but, hands on heart, I was chasing the money. I was desperate to have the six figure income or, indeed, any income.

But, since my epiphany in February, I have realised that it isn’t about the money. I joined a well known weight loss company last year. Most of the team I was with were successful. I bought body measurement scales and I got in front of people. But I was uncomfortable with talking to women about their weight. To be honest, I hated it. So I failed. No surprise really.

Many of us follow the money. But a better strategy is to find a company that aligns with your personality. For me, I realised that I like systems. I have a strategic mind that loves to work with things that make other things work. I thrive on problem solving.  When you find the company, product or system that aligns with the core essence of who you are, you generate a vibration into your world, attracting people to you that like that energy.

I truly believe that if you can do this, you will be successful. For instance, imagine you took up golf and you didn’t really like it. How easy would it be to persuade friends to join you for a game? But, supposing you started playing tennis and loved it, you would seek out people that loved tennis and persuade them to come have a game with you.

Business, in my opinion, is very much like that

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …


matrixDuplication in any business is guaranteed to bring you success. You will fail if you don’t have a way of working that you can teach others. This is why it is so important to learn from our mentors.

In NLP we are taught to model those that we want to replicate. I used to be incredibly shy, so I modeled the behaviour and personality of Dawn French, as I perceived her to be. She is a confident, funny lady who you could never imagine being shy or fearful. It didn’t take long for my shyness to disappear from public view and I knew I had cracked it when I did a one hour talk to 350 people and smashed it!

Copy the behaviour of successful people. Watch, listen and read. Take note of your mentors posts, watch how they interact with their friends. Then put it into place and be amazed at how it will change your business and your life.

The one proviso is to be yourself. Let your personality shine through. You want to attract people who will like your energy and who will enjoy interacting with you.

… Positive Mentoring by Jan …